At home in the Fun Zone: Mom's

Being Chris' Mommy comes with a lot of perks, like long hugs, and snuggling. I also love getting to hear about his dreams in the morning and his impression of the day's events as he gets tucked into bed.

Chris is also very wise and tells me things like: "Teach me slow, so I can learn fast". A quote I should have trademarked...

There are also perks that make my life more convenient, like when he tells me people's names when I forget (which is more and more often these days).

My son makes me proud every day, and amazed and motivated and overwhelmed and inspired and joyful and.. well, there are just so many perks .

Well, today, there was a different perk- a monkey perk.

Today Chris had a photo shoot for Post cereal. For something to do with "Night at the Museum" which then led us to the pleasure of meeting Crystal the Monkey- who stars in that movie.

Chris spent the day in a Hollywood photo studio with an amazing photographer named Dani Brubaker. The four boys enjoyed working with her and had a lot of fun on the 7 hour shoot, and it's pretty darn hard to keep four boys concentrating on anything for that long!

The trainer, Tom, was such a nice guy and let all the kids have Crystal on their shoulder and even let me video tape as she did her famous Monkey Slap on Chris. When Crystal wasn't having her photo taken with the boys, I follwed her and her trainer around asking questions and playing with her- she really seemed to like my phone and I loved looking and her cute tiny leathery hands.

Thanks Chris, for being such a special guy! And thanks for the special day! As charming as little crystal is, Chris is still my favorite monkey.

And, in case you are wondering; there are now at least a dozen little plastic mermaids living on the streets of Hollywood!

This time last year I was chalk tagging Nancy's house. I still managed to tag Doreen's for her birthday, but I didn't even take a photo.

17 years ago today my Mom died. Her death was sudden and I was left alone to take care of everything- from identifying her body to planning the funeral.

I found out 2 nights ago that my friend commit suicide. He left behind 2 young boys and his high school sweetheart. I've been his friend since we were in my very early 20's- I first remember watching him skate down my hill when I was 11 or 12. We first spoke when I was that age- he had the first backyard ramp I ever attempted to skate at that age.

I was angry about his death for a while and then finally sad and now just really missing my Mom on the anniversary of her death. I feel like I am walking through quicksand today. My body is heavy. My heart is heavy. My life is heavy. Duke stayed with me today and for that I am grateful. But- he can't be my Mom.

I need so badly to have a Mom figure in my life. My Mom did not lie, or gossip or manipulate. She did not diet or discuss her weight. She was an amazing cook and seamstress and business woman. She did not take any crap, but she could take honesty. She dealt with everyone on a professional, considerate, human level. I do not have any grown women in my life like that. I feel a huge deficit in my life right now.

I am 41 years old and the thought going through my mind and heart today is I WANT MY MOMMY.