In my darkest hour- this is the letter that saved my life again and again. I had it pinned to my wall to I could read it daily- sometimes hourly so I could remember there is someone out there who understood me. The letter was written in pink ink- and today I had to use a magnifying glass to read the words because they were fading away. I needed to save it. This letter has always explained who I am- or who I was untill the happiness finally de-virginized me.
Dearest K.P.- Goddess of goodness
My beautiful friend, you are a flower- not a rose, or a sunflower or even a mum. You are a special kind of flower which blooms again and again- each time, a different color and a slightly different shape. K.P.- you are a virgin- you’re probably wondering what the hell I’m talking about. Well, I’m not sure. But something tells me there’s a whole lot of wonderfulness making it’s way slowly towards you. It’s taking it’s sweet time. It’s got a long and rocky road to travel and it’s had to make a few stops along the way but it’s got a specific destination- a final destination. It knows how to find you and it will find you for that’s it’s sole purpose. So, K.P. my beautiful virgin friend, don’t look for it because it wants to surprise you, and it’s kind of shy. But remember when you are sad that tomorrow may be the day. And when you go to bed at night, call out to it to help it along it’s way.
You’ve been de-virginized by everything but happiness, K.P.- so what better thing could have been saved for last but that?
You know what’s wrong with you and me? Human contact, communication, bonding and understanding is something which we crave. We can never get enough. When I think about it I wonder why this is. But I think I know. We are too big for our bodies. There is not enough flesh on our bodies to really feel touched when we’re touched. There is not enough oxygen to fill our spirit-lungs. When someone tells us they love us, we know that they really love the part of us that they know and that’s not enough. But we know that they can never know all of us and that makes me feel lonely. And I’m an all or nothing kind of spirit-body. If they don’t love all of me then I won’t let anyone love any of me- cuz it’s not enough.