Just in case there may be one other person out there who might benefit from my words...I have decided to answer my friend's questions about not smoking here-
Here are some thoughts that helped me quit smoking:
I was not giving up smoking- I was given the blessing of not smoking. This simple mind set makes all the difference- I no longer thought in terms of "What will I do at my party when everyone around me is smoking?" Instead I thought of how great it will be to have my friends around me and not have the desire to smoke. NO MORE FIRE TIPPED WANDS TO KEEP PEOPLE AT A DISTANCE.
The ritual around smoking was good- it was just the putting poison in my body that was bad. The only time I ever took for myself was the 5 minute breaks I took to smoke. Other than that I was working. So, I vowed to continue the ritual without the poison. I would take a time out in the yard without smoking. Then the way I took small breaks started to change- I would read a trashy magazine. I would water the flowers. I would hold my son in my arms. I would make out with my husband. Ah- the lovely things you can do in 5 minutes that make life so wonderful!
I love not smoking and not smoking is fun.....
Not smoking is FUN because I can kiss and cuddle my son any time and I know he is feeling the LOVE and not associating that love with the smell of cigarettes. I touch his face with the hands that used to smell. I no longer feel stinky when I do this.
Not smoking is FUN because I don't have to leave the house every hour to go outside and hurt myself. After you quit, you will begin to smell the trail of stench that follows people as they come in from smoking outside.
Life is easier and calmer- you begin to notice all the ways cigarettes used to control you-
I can sit through a movie without anxiety. I don't rush out of the theatre to smoke.
I can have a conversation with someone and not try to lure them outside so I can smoke.
I can be sick at home in bed and not leave the bed.
I feel better about myself. On my day's off of work, I used to stay home all afternoon and smoke, so I could shower right before going into my son's class to read- so I wouldn't smell like cigarettes. Now, I shower and get dressed and smell like all the yummy stuff I used to buy to conceal the smoke smell. I don't have to hide in a corner and smoke- ever! I am a good example for my son and all the other people around me.
A week or so before I quit smoking, I had a dream that I was laying on my death bed and my son was crying. I was dying from smoking and he was asking me " Mommy, why did you love cigarettes more than me?" "Why do you have to go before my children are born?" Now he knows I quit because I love him more than anything.
The day I quit- I visualized my son sitting on a bench in a park. I came up to him and knelt down to eye level and told him- "I promise you I will never smoke again". That was a pretty big thing to think about. It is easier to break promises to ourselves. Imagine a promise to a loved one.
Have a mantra
The day after I quit smoking, I got fired. I wanted so badly to drive to the same gas station where I always got my cigarettes, get a pack and smoke while I cried, blaming it all on my boss. Instead I repeated my magical mantra- "I am now a non-smoker. I will be a non-smoker for the rest of my life." During times when I could barely mutter the words, at my weakest moments, I would repeat that again and again and again. 10 times- 50 times. Whatever it took. I said it before I went to bed at night, and I said it before I got out of bed in the morning. When I got through that first day after being fired, I knew what I was repeating was actually true. You don't have to believe it at first, you just have to act like you do.
Okay- if you are "Cutting down" then just stop- or set a date and DO IT. It is not okay to put 2 cigarettes in, anymore than it is okay to put 20. You have to give yourself the gift of being FREE! Take my mantra right now and use it. And don't light another cigarette.
Here are some things you can do with your "free" time, now that you aren't smoking..
Wake your husband up in a surprisingly passionate way.
Climb in bed with one of your children and kiss their little faces.
Call a friend
Go on line and look at the effects of cigarettes on our bodies.
Do crunches- They will keep your back strong and now that you are going to live longer, you need to think about that stuff.
Eat baby carrots
Chew on pens
Sugar free Popsicles
Finally put all those photos in albums
Write a blog in the morning
Talk to your boss, or your child's teacher and not feel inferior because of smoking.
This list can go on forever. I hope others contribute